Sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

Flashback Friday: Oh, did I say 30 DAYS?

Flashback Friday: Oh, did I say 30 DAYS?

Well, it seemed like a month already.

Wayback Wednesday: Priorities

Wayback Wednesday: Priorities

You’re forgetting: We have two printers but only one foosball table.

We’ll fix this, inshallah

We’ll fix this, inshallah

There’s just one little problem first.

Memory-Lane Monday: I guess looks are everything

Memory-Lane Monday: I guess looks are everything

Ugly hardware ends up in Siberia.

Flashback Friday: How about a shark?

Flashback Friday: How about a shark?

And not a kid-friendly one.

Wayback Wednesday: Survival of the fittest, hardware division

Wayback Wednesday: Survival of the fittest, hardware division

I can haz all the bits?

Now let’s guess what fish’s new password is

Now let’s guess what fish’s new password is

Or maybe we shouldn’t go there.

Memory-Lane Monday: It’s in the cards

Memory-Lane Monday: It’s in the cards

But is the deck rigged?

Flashback Friday: He does have a knack for simplifying things

Flashback Friday: He does have a knack for simplifying things

Well, it might be better to say oversimplifying.

Wayback Wednesday: If it was, it sure isn’t now

Wayback Wednesday: If it was, it sure isn’t now

And I think I used to be taller.

Always ask the obvious first.

Always ask the obvious first.

There’s no such thing as a dumb question, right?

Memory-Lane Monday: Harder_than_it_looks, apparently

Memory-Lane Monday: Harder_than_it_looks, apparently

I’m an engineer, not a typist!

Flashback Friday: You’re dragging us down

Flashback Friday: You’re dragging us down

We prefer data that tells us what we want to hear.

Wayback Wednesday: We call her Pointy Harriet

Wayback Wednesday: We call her Pointy Harriet

It’s a happy ending after all.

Everyone, learn this chant

Everyone, learn this chant

If only things could be this easy.

Memory-Lane Monday: The glass kind

Memory-Lane Monday: The glass kind

And it’s leaking water, not memory.

Flashback Friday: Just don’t say a word to the bank

Flashback Friday: Just don’t say a word to the bank

And pray we don’t get hacked.

Wayback Wednesday: He’ll figure it out

Wayback Wednesday: He’ll figure it out

Just point him in the right direction

The secret

The secret

It’s Coding 101.

Memory-Lane Monday: Self-inflicted

Memory-Lane Monday: Self-inflicted

Things like this do tend to happen at 3:00 in the morning.

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