Sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

Flashback Friday: Anything missing?

Flashback Friday: Anything missing?

Or maybe she’s a one-name entity, like Cher.

Wayback Wednesday: So much for job security

Wayback Wednesday: So much for job security

The years just roll on by.

Dumb luck?

Dumb luck?

Because, really, what were the chances?

Memory-Lane Monday: And he’s still on Windows 7 to this day

Memory-Lane Monday: And he’s still on Windows 7 to this day

He just wanted to be ahead of his time.

Flashback Friday: Now he’s a believer

Flashback Friday: Now he’s a believer

But his initial doubt was understandable.

Wayback Wednesday: It’s either this or spin the Wheel o’ Fish

Wayback Wednesday: It’s either this or spin the Wheel o’ Fish

‘Eeny-meeny’ also works.

But water has always been our friend!

But water has always been our friend!

And we really trust manhole covers.

Memory-Lane Monday: It’s semi-automatic

Memory-Lane Monday: It’s semi-automatic

The things you can discover when people leave their jobs.

Flashback Friday: No, if it were too risky … oh, never mind

Flashback Friday: No, if it were too risky … oh, never mind

The logic of upper management baffles once again.

Wayback Wednesday: Sometimes it really ISN’T your job

Wayback Wednesday: Sometimes it really ISN’T your job

Life in the gutter.

Power play

Power play

They’re redefining ‘power user.’

Memory-Lane Monday: Seeing is believing

Memory-Lane Monday: Seeing is believing

No, no — that’s what the cup holder is for!

Flashback Friday: Oh yes, definitely a quality problem!

Flashback Friday: Oh yes, definitely a quality problem!

Just not with the hardware.

Wayback Wednesday: All true statements, in their way

Wayback Wednesday: All true statements, in their way

Why challenge a giant?

Seek and ye shall find

Seek and ye shall find

Though it might take a while.

Memory-Lane Monday: Documentation just takes up too much space

Memory-Lane Monday: Documentation just takes up too much space

And apparently it doesn’t spark joy.

Flashback Friday: Hoarder

Flashback Friday: Hoarder

You never know when something might come in handy.

Wayback Wednesday: Oops!

Wayback Wednesday: Oops!

When ‘Reply All’ isn’t embarrassing enough.

It was right here

It was right here

A folder by any other name would be less confusing.

Memory-Lane Monday: Say, this is almost as easy as Linux!

Memory-Lane Monday: Say, this is almost as easy as Linux!

Some support is more basic than others.

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