10 things you must never do with a friend's iPhone

There are worse things than greasy fingers

You're one of the lucky ones. Because you didn't shell out hundreds for an Apple Inc. iPhone two weeks ago, your bank account still shows a positive balance. But since you know someone who did buy the $599 phone, you have access to one, if only temporarily. No need to rub elbows with the hoi polloi at the Apple store, or heaven help you, an AT&T Inc. store, to try out the gizmo. No need, either, to spend the money to impress that certain someone, you cheapskate.

Before you start groveling, though, you should know the 10 rules for iPhone iBorrowers so your free test-drive doesn't end bloodily, or at least badly.

No smudging, no sneezing

Wipe your fingers before you put them on someone else's iPhone. That screen may be dazzling, but coat it with greasy fingerprints by pointing and pinching, and your iPhone-ownin' friend may disown you. No need to go all Adrian Monk here, but at least have the courtesy to swipe your index finger a time or two on the thigh of your jeans. And although this goes without saying, it's worth repeating: If you have to sneeze, turn your head or cover your mouth or hand back the iPhone. If oily fingerprints are bad on the iPhone screen, sneeze residue is worse.

Do not drop, do not drop, do not drop ... and sure as hell, do not blend!

PCWorld ran a quick-and-dirty battery of drop-and-demolish tests on the iPhone and concluded that "there's no need to coddle this sexy little device." But don't let that fool you. Let a friend's iPhone slip out of your greasy fingers (see "no smudging" above), and the only coddling you'll get is from the nurse who splints your broken arm in the ER an hour later. This is six bills' worth of technology you're holding, remember, and unless you want to risk bodily harm as your pal flips out, hold it tight.

And whatever you do, do not -- repeat do not -- put it in a nuclear-powered blender like Blendtec's "Total Blender." Some people -- "Fake Steve Jobs," for one -- can't bear to watch the iPhone reduced to toxic powder and a single strip of mangled metal, but frankly, for anyone who doesn't own one and thinks most people who do are poseurs with a too-high limit on their credit card, this is a hoot and a half. Some 1 million (and counting) YouTube viewers agree.

Bonus: The blended remains -- which looks like Fluffy's ashes in the urn on the mantel -- have been booked on eBay. As of Sunday, the top bid was $1,151. Unbelievable. That's essentially sand, people. (Auction closes Friday, July 20.)

Step away from the EDGE

1 2 3 Page 1
Page 1 of 3
Bing’s AI chatbot came to work for me. I had to fire it.
Shop Tech Products at Amazon