Both Sides Now

User complains to this IT pilot fish that a networked printer has stopped printing double-sided pages. But another user insists she can print double-sided without a problem. "The printer did not appear to have the duplex unit installed," fish says. "I asked the second user to print a document in duplex. The print job came out with printing on one side. She pulled it off the printer, reversed the paper, reinserted it into the printer ..."

Um, Yes

This CIO would rather transfer files on floppy disk than over the network. So as tech pilot fish is setting up a laptop and projector for him, he asks if the CIO wants to have both a floppy drive and a network connection. "Yes," says the CIO. "I also need access to the Internet, and while you're at it, can I also get access to the intranet?"

Forwarding Address

This IT pilot fish starts moving into a new office on Monday. Tuesday afternoon, he gets a call from his boss: "Did you remember to transfer your e-mail to the new office? I want to make sure our customers can still reach you."

Escalate The Problem

For months, this pilot fish responsible for database middleware says there's a communication problem between his server and the mainframe database, and he thinks it's on the mainframe end. But the mainframers just growl, "Capture is running," and walk away. Finally fish gets his boss to shift middleware support to the mainframe group. "First day out, they discover that a parameter on the mainframe side isn't set correctly," fish says. "After changing the parameter, the persistent problem seems to stop -- and the mainframe folks proudly proclaim victory."

Talk Dirty

This pilot fish is having problems with Microsoft Outlook, so he calls tech support at the big computer store where he bought the software. "After trying every tip to no avail, the tech asked me, 'Is your screen dirty?' " fish reports. "I hung up."

Think Pink

Pilot fish's new boss calls him to her office for help with what she calls the "pink screen of death." Sure enough, the PC's screen is pink, and the boss says she has to reboot it every day to make it go away. How do you do that? fish asks, and she shows him -- by pushing the power switch. "Turns out that at night she would turn off the CPU but not the monitor," fish sighs. And the pink screen? "The monitor was just displaying its out-of-signal message."

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Copyright © 2004 IDG Communications, Inc.

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