Shark Tank: Quote unquote

Pilot fish is testing the new phone switch at the main office the old-fashioned way: one number at a time. But he's getting tired of the same conversation over and over. Fish: "Hi, this is Fred. I'm testing your new phone number." User: "Did it work?"

Unclear on the Concept University IT staff is implementing PeopleSoft financials, and there are delays. Among other problems, the staff doesn't have the right version of a compiler to build the code for its Unix servers. At a big status meeting, one manager has a suggestion: "We could fast-track the project by using the compiler we do have: the NT version."

Records clerk calls help desk after she accidentally deletes a file. "We can try to restore it from last night's backup tape," pilot fish offers. "What if I only created it today?" she asks. "In that case, we can't help you," says fish. Pause. Then she asks, "Would it be on tomorrow night's backup tape?"

From the instructions for one company's two-page expense report form: "This form was developed to encourage all users to become paperless."

Support pilot fish, trying to troubleshoot a nonworking printer, asks the user if she's running it under Windows. "No, my desk is next to the door," she replies. "But that's a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

New engineer at manufacturing company assures network admin pilot fish that he's worked with desktop computers before - 10 years ago, in fact. Fish doesn't doubt it when he gets an e-mail message from the new hire: "Can you supply me 15 floppies because I need to back up files on my PC?"

Bring me up to date: sharky@computerworld.com. You get a sharp Shark shirt if your true tale of IT life sees print - or if it shows up in the daily feed at computerworld.com/sharky.

Copyright © 2001 IDG Communications, Inc.

  
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