Someday My Prints Will Come

This old laser printer has stopped working, and the only unusual thing support pilot fish notices is that the slot for font cartridges has scrape marks, pencil lines and ink squiggles all around it. Secretary confesses that she's been trying to get her keys out of the slot all afternoon. "It seems she was looking for a safe place to put her keys," says fish, "and thought the printer was a great place to hide them."

No Option

Pilot fish arrives to replace an ink cartridge in the office's color printer but finds the machine in use. It won't print your colors correctly, he tells user. "Oh, I'm not printing in color," user says. Then why didn't you use the black-and-white printer? fish asks, pointing to the idle machine. User: "Because I couldn't find the 'Print in B&W' option on that printer."

That Explains It

"My printer won't print," salesman tells IT pilot fish. How long has it had a problem? fish asks. "About three days," salesman says. Nothing seems to get the printer working. Finally, salesman says, "Maybe it won't print because a 12-lb. catalog fell on it." Fish looks up at the shelf six feet above the printer. When did that happen? he asks. Salesman replies, "About three days ago."

Unclear on The Concept

Work order from this secretary reads: "The printer won't print when out of paper. Please fix ASAP." Tech pilot fish notes, "Even worse, after being shown how to put in paper, she couldn't understand why that process wasn't automated."

Just Don't Ask

Finance department admin calls IT pilot fish - he forgot to submit a required expense form for a large purchase. Fish offers to expedite the process by printing it through the network on the finance admin's printer instead of sending it by interoffice mail. "Unacceptable," she says. "I need the original, not a copy." But, fish asks, what's the difference between the same form printed here or there? Admin replies, "If it's printed here, it wouldn't be an original, would it?"

Double Talk

Before replacing a slew of departmental printers, support pilot fish surveys managers to see if they'd be willing to use duplexing - two-sided printing - to cut paper costs. One manager, clearly peeved, replies: "I can't imagine the loss in productivity we would incur by having to stop, turn the paper over and rerun." Fish sighs, "Their previous printer already had a duplexing unit installed."

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Copyright © 2002 IDG Communications, Inc.

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