Bite Your Tongue

Clueless user gets an e-mail virus pretending to be from sysadmin pilot fish, with the message "Please try my new game." He clicks to open it, but the PC's antivirus software blocks it and tells him to notify sysadmin. "I explain what happened, scan the computer and tell him not to worry, his system is virus-free," says fish. "So," asks user, "can I play that game now?"

What a Crazy Idea

This user's PC crashes whenever her screen saver kicks in. Sysadmin pilot fish turns off the screen saver, and the crashes stop. But a few weeks later, user complains the problem has returned. "Rats! I really thought we fixed it by turning off your screen saver," says fish. "Well, I turned it back on this morning," user admits. Fish: "Try turning it back off." User, grumbling: "I don't see how that will fix anything."


Programmer with a less-than-sterling reputation makes small changes to a report - after which it won't run, no matter what he does. "So he escalates the issue to the IT developer support organization and attempts to make it our problem," says pilot fish who handles the call. "What's the problem?" programmer asks fish. "The program was working before I fixed it."

Now Fix the Fix For the Fix

This company's filtering software effectively blocks improper Web use from the factory floor, says IT pilot fish - until a restructuring ties the factory to the parent company's Internet connection, which won't block any Web access. "Now management wants to install monitoring software on each PC," grumbles fish. "Of course, they also want to make everyone local administrators on their PCs - which means they can disable any software that's installed."

Ya Think?

Prospective employee is interviewing for this company's Internet group. "During the course of the interview, the subject of the Internet came up," says pilot fish who sat in on the session. "The interviewee replied, 'That Internet thing - I think it might catch on.' "

That Might Help

Remote user calls help desk: She gets an error message whenever she tries to access an in-house estimating system. Problem is escalated to developer pilot fish, and he tries everything he can think of, but nothing works. Finally, fish suggests that user ship her PC back to central IT. User's request: "While you have my machine, can you remove the virus that's on it?"

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Copyright © 2002 IDG Communications, Inc.

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