Readers ask: Bizarre help desk questions we just can't answer

Computerworld - Computerworld.com has a "Help Desk" e-mail submission page for readers to report site problems or ask questions about how the site works. Some readers, however, find more creative ways to use this feature, ignoring our plea that states: "This area is specific only to the Computerworld Web site, so please do not use it as a help resource for general Web-related problems."

Below are some of our favorites, exactly as they were received, with only identifying information removed. The, um, creative spelling, has been left intact, giving you a good idea of the kinds of queries real IT help desk staffers get.

Baseball prospect

my name is carlos im 19 yrs old ive been playing baseball all my life. i know i am pro meterial all i need is a chance i play for the braddock braves in pittsburgh pa please send a scout to see me

Soap operas

my question is to help me out getting to the cbs soap operas as the guiding light as the world turns ok since its computer thing looks like that i could go at start of these two soap operas and watch them when they first started on cbs tv i mean watch them over from the very start.

Sounds legit to us

please check this websit out for me this guy email that I have won 263,some owe dollars allI need to do is pick a courier and pay $500.00 for the winnings thanks for your help marva please write me right back before I pay this guy one penny this may be for real so I really need to know ASAP

He's on the way

hell
 some prob in my PC, send yuor man to check it out, i unable to use internet.
         thanks

Up in the ozone

i have an email address at the school i attend. i can get into my ozone it is called but when i click email a window pops up from novellwebapplications. it asks for a user name and a password. i dont know what to give it.. can you help?

Prlinter prloblems

My friend is giving me a HP 820cxi printer, but I don't have the cd to install it. How can I do this? I have a HP computer already and want to use my "new" prlinter right away. Please help asap. Thanks.

New line of business for Computerworld?

Please call me to discuss details for purchase of a Desktop.

We can't either

I cannot print an e.mail I wrote last night.

Need a little more info

i,m a computer science student in the university  pls do help me.

Hey, it's not us