Buried Alive by Work, Getting Little Done

Computerworld - I have a long commute, and one of the things I look forward to during the drive is the local radio station’s joke of the day. Hearing something funny is always a good way to prepare for the workday. On one recent morning, the DJ was giving alternative definitions for various words and phrases. One of them really made me howl.

Depression:anger without enthusiasm.

That’s exactly how I was feeling about my job. I tackle everything in life enthusiastically, but lately, the frustrations of my job have been mounting. I’ve had more than enough to make me angry, but instead, I’m a bit listless. Depressed? Maybe so. Here’s hoping that writing about it will shake me out of the doldrums.

I have been spending inordinate amounts of time managing personnel problems rather than working on my long list of security projects. Admittedly, it’s my own fault that I have such a long list. My modus operandi is to envision a perfectly secure environment, make a long to-do list, and prepare justifications and costs to run by management — and then I end up with approvals for more than anyone could accomplish.

I guess the people in management are swept away by the confidence I exhibit when I tell them what needs to be done. They assume I have the ability to accomplish it all, even though our state agency’s IT department is sadly understaffed. As a result, I’m buried and having a difficult time managing the mess. I have said before that I believe good managers need to be technical, and I still believe that to be true. But when you don’t have the staff that allows you to both manage and do the technical work, that theory hits some rough road.

The personnel problems I’ve been dealing with for the past six months have been pulling me away from doing the technical stuff I have on my plate, and it isn’t really managing, either. It’s not a matter of nurturing the staff and resolving conflicts. It’s playing the endgame as the problems with personnel cause the IT team to implode. It’s not fun, and it’s not productive.

I explained to my boss that as long as the agency requires me to manage this sort of thing, security projects will have to remain on hold. He’s a supportive guy, and he asked me to list the projects that were on hold.

Unfortunately, after looking over the list, all my boss could do was give me approval to work lots of overtime. That’s not exactly what I need. Working long hours has brought on exhaustion, and my body has been screaming “Uncle!” In this condition, I am not effective as either a manager or a security engineer.