February 24, 2003

Manager making a trip overseas wants to take copies of all company resources -- manuals, forms, everything available -- so the remote office can use them too. On a Friday afternoon, 12 hours before her flight, she asks pilot fish to copy the entire contents of the server to a CD. But that's over 460GB of data, fish says. Blank look, so fish tries again: It would require creating about 900 CDs. "Oh, OK," says manager. "So, by Wednesday then?"

Security?

University pilot fish is supposed to install a software package on an Army system as part of a support contract. But it's a secure system -- fish can't access it, and the security-cleared people who do have access aren't allowed to copy software from an unsecured system into it. But fish has administrator privileges on a national lab's archive site, which the Army has declared "trustworthy." So fish copies the software to the archive, and the Army IT people copy it back to their secure system. Grumbles fish, "Bureaucracy at its best."

Discrepancy

Database admin pilot fish runs the quarterly sales report as usual. But the assistant to the CEO demands that fish run it again: "The actual sales numbers don't match the projected numbers!"

Convenience

After consultant pilot fish gets a network back up, he tells client he still needs to restore remote access. "Only one user uses that -- you!" client snaps. But if there's a problem, I won't have to drive all the way out to the site, fish says. "Oh, I see," client interrupts. "It's only a convenience for you!" Fish sighs, "After I explained that a two-minute problem can be fixed remotely in two minutes and he won't be charged for travel time, he calmed down."

Reality Check

All employees are required to pass an online test on new regulations -- but many haven't taken the quiz. Bosses come up with an idea to ensure compliance, which CIO runs past network manager pilot fish: "How easy is it to disable the network log-ons of employees who haven't taken the test?" Not hard, says fish, but how will they take the online test if they can't get on the network? CIO: "Good point."

Never Happened

It's a dumb question this user asks a help desk pilot fish, and she realizes that when fish tells her that the solution is to turn on the printer. "Did you get my name?" she asks. No, says fish -- and user quickly hangs up.

Feed the Shark! Send your true tale of IT life to sharky@computerworld.com. You snag a snazzy Shark shirt if we use it. And check out the daily feed, browse the Sharkives and sign up for Shark Tank home delivery at computerworld.com/sharky.

February 25, 2003

Shark Tank: Then he could have re-ignored it all over again

At this small government agency, major changes to the network must run a whole gantlet of approvals before the switch is thrown, says an IT contractor pilot fish who works there. Read More

February 26, 2003

Shark Tank: The Air Force Way

As this pilot fish sits in on the weekly staff meeting for this Air Force base, one subordinate mentions to the wing commander that there's an important luncheon coming up in a matter of days, and he's having lots of trouble informing all the people who should know about it. Read More

February 27, 2003

Shark Tank: Plan ahead

A manager at this electrical utility tells database admin pilot fish that he needs the last three years' worth of data on the company's high-voltage transmission system, and he needs it fast. Read More

February 28, 2003

Shark Tank: Why security people get gray

President of this big energy company lives a few miles from the company's downtown headquarters and wants to be able to work from home, reports a sysadmin pilot fish. Read More

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