August 15, 2005

When this user's hard drive dies, pilot fish tells her it will take about 30 minutes to set her up with a new drive. "Maybe I should just drop this thing on the floor next time it doesn't work," user grumbles. "If you think that'll help," fish jokes. Fast-forward: "Today, I get a call," says fish. "Her computer wouldn't boot, so she dropped it on the floor. Somehow she managed to short out the power distribution for her whole line of 24 cubes. Now her supervisor wants to know why I would suggest something like this."

Hot Idea

This computer room is served by two air conditioning units, a primary and a backup, reports a pilot fish who works there. But after more servers are added, the backup starts being run at the same time as the primary to handle the extra heat. Then summer arrives, and suddenly both cooling units are overheating. What's wrong? "The compressors had been installed on the roof with their exhaust fans facing each other," sighs fish after investigating. "They were blowing hot air on each other."

So Helpful

Boss decides to upgrade his own hard drive one Friday to save sysadmin pilot fish the trouble. "Please leave your computer on over the weekend so the IT security office can push updates to your box," fish tells him. But on Monday morning, boss is panic-stricken -- nothing's working, and the new 10GB hard drive is completely full. "Since he was so helpful in setting up his computer his way, by 8 a.m. Monday, helpful people on the Internet had posted and hosted over 9GB of MP3 files on his very own Napster server to share with the world," groans exasperated fish. "His response? 'See? I knew I needed a bigger hard drive!'"

Anyone Listening?

Help desk pilot fish is troubleshooting a PC with a user and the PC vendor's support line on a conference call. Fish explains that the PC is a fire hazard; when it was initially turned on, it started to smoke. Now it won't turn on at all. Vendor's tech: "OK, turn the machine on." Fish: It will not turn on! Tech: "OK, turn the computer off."

Not Normal

The Internet isn't working on my new computer, sales guy tells IT pilot fish. Fish is puzzled; he just spent a day duplicating the sales guy's old setup and testing connectivity. What message are you getting? fish asks. Sales guy: "I'm not getting an error message, just a page that says 'Google.'" Fish: What does the Internet normally look like? Sales guy: "It always says 'MSN.'"

Here, it always says Sharky. Send me your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll get a stylish Shark shirt if I use it. And check out the daily feed, browse the Sharkives and sign up for Shark Tank home delivery at computerworld.com/sharky.

August 16, 2005

Shark Tank: $975,000 so far, but we're still counting

This company issues a new policy directive: Only Microsoft operating systems are to be used on desktop PCs, laptops and servers. "If another OS is found on the network, measures will be taken to block, remove, contain or disable the system," reports a pilot fish working for a subsidiary. Read More

August 17, 2005

Shark Tank: Nice detective work

This pilot fish works for a computer vendor as an "escalations team member." Translation: "If a big account had problems with equipment, the sales reps would call me to fix it," says fish. Read More

August 18, 2005

Shark Tank: Right the first time, sort of

This pilot fish works for a services company, so he's not surprised to get an emergency call at 8:30 a.m.: "We have no Internet access, and the Exchange logs are piling up -- nothing is being sent out or coming in." Read More

August 19, 2005

Shark Tank: Why IT people get gray

It's upgrade time for this business-critical application. Pilot fish's job: to test the new version before it's deployed. Read More

June 30, 2008
June 23, 2008
June 16, 2008
June 09, 2008
June 02, 2008
May 26, 2008
May 19, 2008
May 12, 2008

Select Week May 05, 2008 April 28, 2008 April 21, 2008 April 14, 2008 April 07, 2008 March 31, 2008 March 24, 2008 March 17, 2008 March 10, 2008 March 03, 2008 February 25, 2008 February 18, 2008 February 11, 2008 February 04, 2008 January 28, 2008 January 21, 2008 January 14, 2008 January 07, 2008 December 31, 2007 December 24, 2007 December 17, 2007 December 10, 2007 December 03, 2007 November 26, 2007 November 19, 2007 November 12, 2007 November 05, 2007 October 29, 2007 October 22, 2007 October 15, 2007 October 08, 2007 October 01, 2007 September 24, 2007 September 17, 2007 September 10, 2007 September 03, 2007 August 27, 2007 August 20, 2007 August 13, 2007 August 06, 2007 July 30, 2007 July 23, 2007 July 16, 2007 July 09, 2007

Enabling Data Centers that Are Both Automated and Dynamic

See more Webcasts 

The Poll of the Week: Poll: Should Google turn over YouTube data to Viacom as part of a copyright infringement suit?

Yes, copyright-infringing videos are being posted Maybe -- It depends on how much personally identifiable info is involved No, it violates the privacy of YouTube users

See all Computerworld Polls

Subscribe to the Daily Shark e-mail newsletter A chuckle a day right to your inbox, courtesy of Sharky's many intrepid pilot fish. E-MAIL

Clueless Consultants? Bungling Bosses? Useless Users? Tell me your tale. If it gets published you get a sharp Shark shirt. Submissions Shark Tank FAQ

Hungry for some Shark? Get your fill with our Shark Tank RSS feed Get the Shark Tank RSS feed