Besides, we know who to forward the complaints to

This pilot fish's organization is getting ready to undergo a cybersecurity inspection when the security manager discovers that there's a small problem -- on every single workstation.

"One of the software products on every machine is a couple years out of date and has a security vulnerability," says fish. "The security manager called a phone meeting with all parties involved.

"The application manager said she has a new version that's not vulnerable, but it will take two months to get it through the accreditation process. Too long, security manager said, the inspection is in two weeks."

So the security manager decides to order the software removed from all workstations before the inspection, and then replace it once the new one is accredited. Fish, who's responsible for software deployment, assures the application manager that once the new version is accredited, fish can expedite its release.

But fish points out that approach does mean the users will be without the software for two months -- and some won't be happy about it.

Security manager suggests fish should write a user bulletin announcing the action.

Let's see, fish thinks: It's a security action, directed by the security manager, for a security inspection -- and the guy that will approve the replacement in two months is on the hook for all the complaints?

"But I agreed," fish says. "A few minutes later the phone call closed and everyone hung up. My boss, who was lurking on the call, left his office and walked down the hall to my cube. I told the boss the bulletin was done. Boss was surprised.

"I explained, 'Sometimes it takes more time to argue with security that it's her job then it does to just do her job for her...'"

Don't argue, just send Sharky your story. Email your true tale of IT life to me at You'll get a stylish Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

Get your daily dose of out-takes from the IT Theater of the Absurd delivered directly to your Inbox. Subscribe now to the Daily Shark Newsletter.

Computerworld's IT Salary Survey 2017 results
Shop Tech Products at Amazon