How Do I Need Thee?with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I need thee? Let me count the ways I need thee every time I mistakenly trash a file I need thee when my laptop slows to a crawl and when my server has crashed I need thee when my system has been infected with horrible malware and when I forget the password that I set up just yesterday I need thee with a confidence that I seem to lose when errors pop up all over my screen I need thee with the breath, Smiles, and tears, of every hour I spend at work and, if I get safely home tonight, I shall but need thee again tomorrow
Sonnet 1:30 PM
with apologies to Shakespeare
My admin’s eyes are nothing like the sun He wears glasses and needs a flashlight to look into the backs of racks of servers Poets speak a language far easier on the ears and, if the network moves data more quickly than I can imagine, still he lumbers into the data center like a bear If cables be tools, long black tools drag behind him as he moves I have seen whiteboards covered with red and blue, But no words or phrases describe what is in his head And in most septic tanks there is more delight Than in the sigh that emits from his mouth when I ask a question I need to hear him speak, yet well I know That the ravings of a lunatic might have a far more pleasing sound I grant I never saw a knight stride by My admin, when he walks, shuffles his feet and looks at the floor And yet, by all that I have seen, I think my admin as rare and as precious As any with whom he might be compared
Feel free to change the gender on the second one.
Looking for something a little more tangible to give your favorite sysadmin? Here are 8 gifts they'll really like.
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