Pilot fish is standing in the office break room with some co-workers at lunchtime when his phone rings -- and the call is from a toll-free number he doesn't recognize.
"I step out to take the call," says fish. "When I answer, I am greeted by 'Steve from computer technical systems' in a very thick accent. He informs me that he's calling because he sees many red alarms going off on their monitoring, and he thinks my computer is being hacked."
Fish tells the caller, "Hold on a sec, I need to get a pen." Then he puts the phone on mute, walks back into the break room and hushes his co-workers as he puts the call on his phone's speaker.
Fish: OK, Steve, so I can make sure I have this right, can you repeat what you said?
Steve: "Yes, I'm from computer technical services and your computer is alarming, telling us you are being hacked."
Fish's co-workers are just looking puzzled.
Fish: Is this my home computer or work computer?
Steve: "Your Windows OS computer."
Fish: OK, what can I do?
Steve: "Can you see the back of your computer? Look for a light next to a cable going into the back of the computer. Do you see one flashing?"
Fish, who hasn't moved: Yeah, I see it. What's it mean?
Steve: "If it's flashing, that means they are trying to break into your computer."
Fish: Oh crap. What do I need to do?
Co-workers are beginning to snicker, and fish waves at them to keep quiet.
Steve: "OK, I can walk you through how to lock them out and protect your stuff."
Fish: All right, let's do it.
Steve: "On your keyboard, do you see the key with C, T, R and L on it? Press that and the key with the four little squares that look like the Windows logo."
Fish: OK, got those two, now what?
Steve: "Press R."
Fish: OK, did it. I don't see anything.
Steve: "Are you sure you're pushing the right ones?"
Fish: Yup, the Ctrl, Windows and R keys. Nothing happens. Hey, does this work in Linux?
Reports fish, "Steve asked, 'You're running Windows?' I said yes, of course.
"Then we head a click -- and the roomful of co-workers could finally start laughing."
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