Now THAT'S a successfully closed ticket

At this small school district, the IT department and the maintenance department are considered friendly rivals, says an IT pilot fish there.

"One day, one of the elementary school secretaries sent in a tech request asking about a ceiling tile," says fish. "Normally, this would not be our department, though it wouldn't be the first time I had to mess with ceiling tiles.

"But it was one of us techies who forgot to put the tile back the last time we were down there at the elementary school, so the maintenance guy thought it'd be cool to make one of us go fix it."

That immediately kicks things into IT-versus-maintenance mode, at least from the point of view of fish's boss. He instructs fish to go fix the ceiling tile, and then -- direct orders here -- to send the secretary and maintenance guy the most outrageous response on their tech request that fish can come up with.

After putting the tile back, fish carefully composes a response to the trouble ticket:

The tile has been replaced. I had to locate the tile amongst a barrage of pipes. It wasn't easy. To make matters worse, the water channel on the back of the tile is slightly damaged and needs to be repaired ASAP. If the channel isn't fixed then water will start pouring into the library from the pipes.

I wish that was all but it's not.

Unfortunately, there is also a leak in the gas chamber in the back of the cafeteria and obnoxious -- I mean, noxious -- gas is now seeping through the ceiling and the flimsy tile with the broken water channel is the perfect place to allow the gas into the library.

Failure to replace that tile with a more suitable one would be a health risk for the students, and could cause a nuclear explosion once it reaches the computers.

But other than that, everything is good to go. Let us know if you need anything else.

P.S.: My boss put me up to this.

Reports fish, "The secretary later wrote back -- and jokingly suggesting that I be drug tested."

Write to Sharky with your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll snag a snazzy Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

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