'Confirmed': iPhone 5S will be vulgar, gaudy, tacky, nasty, tawdry, ugly, emetic

Anyone for Champagne?

Vulgar iPhone 5S in gold

Image credit: TheWhiteDemon

Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) will release a gold-colored iPhone 5S. This rumor is said to be 'confirmed' by multiple sources. And, yes, there are pictures of case components. It's clearly totally believable; so that's all right then.

But did anyone stop to wonder why Jony Ive would permit such a tawdry, vomit-hued bauble?

In IT Blogwatch, bloggers froth themselves into an inevitable lather.

Your humble blogwatcher curated these bloggy bits for your entertainment. Not to mention: Maslow's Heirachy updated for the 21st Century...

MG Siegler comes right out and says it:

Yes, there will be a gold iPhone...I’m hearing from multiple sources.

...

I was told...that the actual gold iPhone would be...subtle in color. Think: less “gold” and more “champagne”...more like the old gold iPod mini.

...

I think one more reason why we’re seeing this golden iPhone now may be related to the rumored “iPhone 5C”. ...color seems likely to be a key differentiator.  MORE

David Deliaval offers these photos of the alleged chassis:

Nous avons de nouvelles photos...du nouvel iPhone. ... Les photos que nous avons pu obtenir montrent un châssis de couleur Or / Gold.  MORE

Jon Fingas noticed them, and wants to believe:

If [they] are accurate, you'll get some variety soon... and some bling.

...

While it's difficult to verify the snapshots...this doesn't look like an aftermarket project. ... As a result, we won't be surprised if we see a flashy gold iPhone at Apple's rumored September 10th event.  MORE

But Derrick Curry isn't impressed with the pictures:

It also looks like urine more than gold.  MORE

So Mike Beasley looks to emerging Asian consumers:

However, gold is a popular color in the China market, which could give the iPhone 5S an even bigger boost in sales.  MORE

Wow. Rocco Pendola is totally unimpressed:

Initial reaction from the tech-geek ether, gold is big in China, therefore a gold iPhone would be big in China.

...

If, however, you have anything resembling a long-term field of vision for this company, you best be concerned. ... I knew Apple would change when Steve Jobs died. ... That said, I never thought I would see this sort of...pathetic attempt at stealing low-hanging market share.  MORE

Meanwhile, Ned Hepburn offers this colorful metaphor:

The golden iPhone will probably inspire more nerd boners than Olivia Wilde in a geisha outfit.

...

Of course, this is Apple that we’re talking about — and the Apple rumor mill is pretty ****ing ridiculous.  MORE

And Aubrey Johnson sees what Jason Kincaid did there:

Wow, the gold iPhone sounds Ausome.  MORE

Computerworld Blogs Newsletter

Subscribe now to the Blogs Newsletter for a daily summary of the most recent and relevant blog posts at Computerworld.  

To express your thoughts on Computerworld content, visit Computerworld's Facebook page, LinkedIn page and Twitter stream.
From CIO: 8 Free Online Courses to Grow Your Tech Skills
Shop Tech Products at Amazon
Notice to our Readers
We're now using social media to take your comments and feedback. Learn more about this here.